Today’s post is a little different than normal, but I wanted to share something pretty personal. Last week, I had a good three day period where I was incredibly down. Living in Amsterdam, while an amazing experience, hasn’t proved to be as easy as Jon and I thought it would be.
I got incredibly lucky when we first moved because I found a job before we even got here. Which was both a blessing and a curse because it completely skewed my view of how the moving to another country/living abroad thing went. In my mind, it was as simple as applying, interviewing, and getting sponsored. But that hasn’t been the case.
The past four months have been really tough in the job department. I have spent days applying, having chats, bothering every single connection that I have. I have been scouring job websites and LinkedIn so I can apply as soon as something comes available. Every time I’ve found a job I know I’m a good fit for, I’ve been rejected. I’ve become particularly discouraged and wary about getting my hopes up when a new job comes up online.
I’m a highly ambitious person, and I put a lot of my self-worth on my career. So it’s been so hard to constantly be rejected. Even though I know a large part of it is probably because I’m American and need sponsorship, it’s hard not to beat myself up for not being enough.
Last week, I was having a really hard time dealing with this. I spent a lot of time on the couch without leaving the house. Until I read this post on the blog, Carrie Bradshaw Lied. In it, Kathleen shares a wonderful quote from her minister.
Discontentment robs the heart of joy. It leaves us jealous of the people we love, and it tells God what He is providing is not enough. It’s an issue of the heart. What’s the secret of being content? A habit of the heart.
I’m not a religious person, but this got me to thinking. If I was discontent with what I had, then I was telling the universe that what I have now is not enough. And that simply isn’t true. I have so many things to be grateful for. Things may seem hard right now, but they’re no where near as hard as they could be. I have a loving and supportive boyfriend, an amazing apartment, the chance to live in and experience Amsterdam. And honestly, that’s way more than enough.
I have a few opportunities coming up where I will be able to do some part-time work. Maybe not all things I would consider a career, but it will give me some spending money. Just because I can’t shop like I used to, or take a trip any time I want doesn’t mean that I don’t have more than enough to be content with.
While I was able to snap out of my funk last week, contentment is still something I have to work on every day. For example, I was rejected from another job just the other day that I was very excited about and felt very qualified for. I initially got very upset, but then I took a moment to realize that while what I have in front of me might not be the traditional definition of success, it could be a fantastic opportunity for me. After all, working a few days a week and then having time to grow my brand could be what I’m meant to do right now.
It’s so easy in this social media age to get caught up in comparison and to not feel like enough. Just google “social media and mental health,” and you’ll find hundreds of articles linking the two. So how do you stay content in a world where we’re constantly told that we don’t have enough?
I’m starting by shifting my perspective each time I find myself saying that what I have isn’t enough. What do you do to stay content? I’d love to learn your tips!
Xx, Kelsey
Cristina says
I can relate to everything hun! I loved this personal style post 🙂
Kelsey Barnes says
Thanks, girlie! Xx, Kelsey