Packing for the Christmas holidays is always so exciting. Throwing in cute cozy pjs and presents for family. Stuffing the suitcase full of festive sweaters and trying (however unsuccessfully) to leave enough room to bring presents back home. That’s what we were supposed to be doing today.
Instead, it’s just another normal workday from our apartment. The same as it’s been for 75% of this year. Last week, Jon and I made the incredibly difficult decision to cancel our 2020 Christmas plans to return to the US. It’s something we debated for weeks before making the official decision.
For me, the decision was made when I heard on the news that someone in the US is dying every 38 seconds right now. It’s a sobering fact about how bad things really are. And while Jon and I worry about our own health, it’s really the health of our friends and family that we care most about. There is nothing that would break our hearts like giving covid-19 to someone we love, especially when many family members are within at-risk populations.
I would give almost anything to have kept our 2020 Christmas plans to be with family for the holidays. My parents are stuck in Australia. My brother is staying in Hawaii. My sister and my aunt are alone. And Jon’s family is not much different. We both feel so bad that we’ll be leaving his mom alone on this holiday. But we also know deep down that this is the right decision.
I’m making sure not to pass judgment on anyone who is traveling home for the holidays. For many, there are circumstances that make it easier for them to see family without as much risk. And trust me, if we could make it work with lower risk we absolutely would.
But for those of you whose heart is breaking a little bit around the holidays this year, I want you to know that you’re not alone. We are all collectively doing the right thing at the expense of our own feelings. This year has been especially hard, and next year will probably continue to be hard. But it is these truly selfless actions that will hopefully mean that next year we can be together with family, hugging and kissing without anxiety.
Jon and I spent Christmas just the two of us a few years ago, which taught me a lot about making the most of the season when you can’t be together. Make the time to call your friends and family this season. Connect virtually in whatever way you can. Put up a tree even if you’re all alone. We will get through this.
Xx, Kelsey
